Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
someone owes me an orgasm
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
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But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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