So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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