Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
