i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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