I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
