So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I puked a lego.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
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