The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
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