shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize