So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
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I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
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Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
You ruined the universe
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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