i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
