And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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