I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
