I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
