if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
