you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
