Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
