New low: just hacked my moms facebook
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
