I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
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I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
How naked do you want me to be?
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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