Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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