I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
