So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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