DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize