Screwed.edu
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
