can u get pink eye on your cock?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
