I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
this hospital has no fireball
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
