it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I'm passing your future prison.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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