oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
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