i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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