I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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