I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
