i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
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the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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