May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
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