I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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