All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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