Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Randomize
