Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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