do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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