Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
