So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
