I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
