After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize