So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
farters have to be the big spoon...
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
