We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
