she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
