i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
this hospital has no fireball
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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