If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize