a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
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