if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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