College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
