she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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