Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
