It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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