So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
