Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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