hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
