I wanna bring you to show and tell
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
