so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
