you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
