I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
