well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Randomize
